Bad day.
kept thinking about something I don’t wanna think about before I slept at night. overslept in the morning and afternoon, social withdraw and escape, overthinking, procrastination, unproductive, everything in a mess, uncomfortable, unsafe, not willing to eat, bad stomach, intermittent apathy.
很想回到遙遠的那片靜土，但是否當我遠離的時候，自動為它加上了濾鏡。人總是矛盾的，在這裡就嚮往遠方，在遠方卻思念故土。缺乏勇氣。
Expectations, been hurt by “expectations”, fuck not my fault actually but why does it affects me, I am afraid of feeling even a bit of expectation toward something or someone. staying alone and adventures might help, cuz I won’t have any expectations about any variables, just walk and live in my own way. it’s better to trust only yourself. might need lots of consistent affirmations. these are not good
Music brings me back to the old times, nostalgia..
well I have to admit that life here is not bad. when I function normally, I think it’s better. when I function bad like now, bad as hell, unsafe and uncomfortable without a place to escape to. I just want to hide myself without any anticipated disturbances from humans and responsibility.
Should start doing something productive to escape from bad mood. cannot be lazy here.
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